Flux, state of….
Grania on May 09 2007 at 9:12 pm | Filed under: The Journey, home sweet home
Forgive my lack of writing this week. I started back at work, and it happened to be the week of our yearly meeting where they bring everyone in and trap them in rooms for 10 hours a day for the annual (indoctrination) training.
I usually refrain from writing about work here, and I will do that again for the most part now, but there are things going on there that are making me squirm. My job had just got fun again, it was to the point where I was enjoying it, and now it looks like that’s gone for a while…. oh well, it’s a job, it pays the bills, and the benefits are good. I’ll hang out while the dust settles and see what happens. It’s a great company, I’m just not sure where I fit right now. It will all work out. It always does.
Being back at work after surgery and having 2 weeks off was exhausting. I skipped out on the last training session yesterday, came home with the intentions of taking a walk before physical therapy. Roomie was finishing up showering and shaving in the bathroom, and I needed to use it before my walk. I laid down on my bed for the 2 min that I thought it would take him to finish, and woke up an hour later. I was 10 min late for Rehab.
My physical therapist told me that if I was that exhausted, I should rest for a day. I’m pushing too hard.
I didn’t need to be told that twice. My sleep cycle is still hosed from all the naps I took for 2 weeks. I’m working to get it back to normal, but it’s not that easy. My body is still healing. I have to be patient and let it set the schedule. I’ve done enough walking between buildings at work for the last 3 days to call it about 3/4 of my walking, and I came home today and mowed grass for 20 min, so I’ve not been completely slacking. This weekend will be gorgeous. I’ll walk a lot, and start to put energy into some kind of eating plan.
The meetings ended today too. The rest of the week will be catching up and getting ready for my new responsibilities. It’s gonna be a wild ride for a while.
I need to get to my GP and the Gyne soon. The surgery brought on a couple other issues that I need to deal with. I’ll get that done in the next week or two.
Minime is graduating in a couple of weeks too. She’s stressing not having a job yet. Things will work out. They always do. She’ll either find a job, or she’ll come home and keep looking. Either way it will work out. She’s always got a place to land, even if she doesn’t like the rules here now. They are the same rules that I grew up with, and that I should have raised her with in the first place. Hindsight is 20:20 huh?
Lots of things are in flux right now. I’m more stressed than I really should be while I’m healing, so I’m doing what I can to live in peace and care for myself. It just feels like I’m living in the calm at the center of the storm again.
The journey feels very disjointed right now, like something is changing. I’ve had several thoughts in the last few days that maybe it’s time to think about following the dream, but then I look at myself and really wonder what I want to be when I grow up. My dream is mostly just to be happy, in love with someone that is capable, willing, and happy to love me back, and enjoying life, whatever it brings.
I suppose it will come to me eventually if I allow it into my life. I’m staying open to possibilities. We’ll see what happens. Patience Grania… patience.
