Black Oak's Daughter

I know a man that owned a beautiful place. It was was in the country, and had trees and a pond. When I visited him the first time, I was overwhelmed. We talked all night, and he’s got some great stories to tell. During the day while he worked, I just sat back and took the environment in. It was a point in my life where there was chaos at home, so I’d visit him for a few days at a time, to get grounded again.   He’s got an amazing sense of peace, and trust in the creator, and that’s not lost on me. 

I made it a habit when I was there to get up and watch the sunrise. I’d go out on the deck and watch the barn swallows do their morning in-flight dance, the geese gliding across the pond, the horses in the pasture behind the pond. Sometimes I’d walk out to the pond and sit on the grass and just be part of the peacefulness.

At night there, the sky was clear and the stars were so bright. More than once I went out there in the middle of the night, and stood in the total darkness, and looked up, absolutely amazed. I felt so small and scared, and at the same time I felt like so much a part of the universe, not small at all. 

My time with him was special. I loved him, and still do. That place, with him there, was where I remembered what inner peace means.  All I have to do is close my eyes and put myself there and it comes back.  He and I had some tender moments too.  He’s not one to let anyone get too physically close, but there were a couple of times that he looked me in the eye, completely present with me, and it felt very connected and close and right. Those are the kinds of moments that leave lasting impressions on me.  

People lately have been asking me if I’m scared. I’m facing major surgery in a week, and yes I’m nervous about the risks of the surgery, but I’m not allowing it to overwhelm me. It is what it is. I have to do it. It’s not the first hurdle that life has taught me to leap.

When those inevitable late night scary thoughts come, I put myself back into that place, on the deck, becoming a part of nature and the universe, and that inner peace comes back.  

I will get through this surgery.  The man that I talk about above, he’s here with me. He’ll make sure that I’m ok and that things run smoothly while I’m healing. Roomie has taught me so much, but probably the most important thing that keeps coming back to me, is that we create our own environment by the energy that we radiate.   I’m at peace. My house, when it’s not torn up for remodeling, has started to reflect the peace that I feel.  I will be healing in this environment.  I’m already healing in this environment. I have been for months.

Life is good.

Comments Off