Black Oak’s Daughter

There are a few people in my life….. I don’t even know how to describe it… There are a few people in my life that just belong in my life. They’ve always been there. At least it feels that way. My best friend Pat, a certain cheezhead that shall remain nameless, Roomie, and one or two others in my inner circle.

I’m talking about one specific person right now though. His name is Don. He really has always been there, in the periphery of my life. He’s my mother’s sister’s youngest son, and he’s a little older than me, so he was around by the time I was born. Our time together when we were younger was limited to holidays and an occasional visit for a summer swim. There have been a few special moments between us since then. He was there the week before my mom died. We had a moment then that I’ll never forget. He’s also the man that I chose to stand as Godfather to my daughter. I didn’t know him very well in a day to day way then, but I knew if something happened to me, he’d teach her how to be a good person, and treat her well, and that’s all I needed to know. I’d hoped that it would bring us closer, but life, being life, and ours being mostly separate, that hadn’t really happened until last year.

Last fall when I was diagnosed, he and I exchanged many emails that turned into some good discussions. Any topic that came up was fair game. That continued in person last night. We talked about relationships, kids, family, work, music, religion. We left the restaurant, walked to our cars, hugged and talked for another 20 minutes. Hugged again. Talked some more, and hugged again. He’s one of a rare few people in my life that hug you with their whole heart. I love that. I love him. I hugged him back, and those were some great moments. I think we both needed them. It’s been an emotional week. First with the joy of his mother’s 90th birthday party, and then the concern for what turned out to be very successful surgery 3 days later.

Last night, for the first time ever in our adult lives, we got to sit and talk, just us, in person, one on one, for nearly three hours. We’ve never had that before. He’s my cousin, and he lives 3 states away, so when he’s around there’s always other family around to share time with. I’m not complaining, we have a very close family and that’s awesome, but it’s hard to get to the level of one on one conversation that really lets you know someone when there’s 10 other people listening. Don and I had a nice dinner and just sat and talked for a couple of hours about life, the universe and everything.

The thing that struck me the most about it was that I was really conscious of being present in the moment and appreciating that he was too. The most important thing in my world was the conversation we were having. We were focused on each other, there was a good give and take. Lots of laughs, a couple times near tears, complete honesty, and compassion.

I’ve been running on empty lately. Sleep is a challenge, work is a challenge, finances suck, and Prince Charming seems to have gotten lost on the way to our happy ever after. This too shall pass, but it’s been getting to me more than I let on.

This last weekend, I got to spend time with everyone in my family. It was a special time. Cap that off with last night’s dinner and conversation and I’m not running so empty anymore. In fact, for now, I’m pretty much all filled up. There’s so much love in my life, and no matter what happens with the rest of my life, that will always be there. I’m very blessed.

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