Namaste

That’s it.

Namaste

The good: I had a good week with my personal goals. I am now down 21.8 pounds. I haven’t had any caffeine for a couple of weeks. I’m exercising more, although I need to be more consistent with that. All in all I feel pretty good.

The bad: I’m really broke, for the next 2 months. Between taxes, doctor bills, paying for a vacation next year, and the heating bills I’m about as tight as I can get financially right now. It will ease after April, but I have to be careful until then.

The good: Since I’ve been taking all my own meals to work, and not buying 2 meals out a day, I figure that I’m saving about $40 a week.

The bad: One of my cats has taken to using my beautiful off white leather sofa as it’s place to act out.  If I had paid full price and not gotten it off of Craigslist I’d be more upset.  For now, until I figure out who it is, I’ll keep an eye on it.

The good:  I’m such an olympic dork. I love the stories about the athletes, how much they really have to dedicate their lives to get to the level that they are at, the sacrifices that their families make for the, and the kid of sheer guts and determination that goes into that whole process. It’s inspiring.  I think I might want to learn to snowboard after I lose some more weight too. That looks really fun.

The bad: They end tomorrow.

The good:  I’m still enjoying the last CD that I downloaded from iTunes.  Check out Matt Morris on YouTube, really. The boyz got mad musical skillz.

Namaste

There were good things this week too.  I’m down 19 pounds now.  I’m getting a better handle on my own bad habits and turning them around. Through all of the stress in the last week, I haven’t had caffeine for 9 days now and I’m still craving it but I’m also seeing how much the caffeine and nutrasweet are simply just really bad for me.  I’m eating less than half of what I used to eat, and I’m not hungry. When I had a Diet Coke with a big breakfast I’d be starving by 10 and snacking.  I haven’t even gone down to the deli at work for at least 3 weeks. That’s a good thing on two fronts. I’m not eating that unhealthy greasy crap, and I’m saving that money and using it to buy healthy food. I’ve been cooking my own whole grain oatmeal most days for breakfast, and lunch is either leftovers from the night before or I’ve been using up the frozen meals that I’ve bought.  The trend is definitely toward eating all home prepared food. I’m not against eating out as a treat once or twice a month, it’s a nice break, and something different. I’m just better able to adjust my habits to match what my body needs if I don’t do that as constantly as I was.

I’m also not depriving myself.  I eat a piece of chocolate if I want a piece of chocolate. I don’t eat a handful or half a bag when one piece of good chocolate more than kills the desire/craving.  To keep losing weight at the rate that I am, I have to maintain a 7000 calorie deficit every week. That’s burning, on average, 1000 calories more per day than I eat, and I’ve been doing that, so the 40 or 80 calories of treats that I eat most days keeps me from feeling deprived while I’m doing what I’m doing to lose the weight.

Next week, I’ll take it one day at a time, just like I have been this week.  There were a couple of evenings where I’ve come home completely defeated by my job, and still taken care of myself with a good dinner and a little time to relax with Roomie.  If I can do this through a week like that, I can do this for the next couple of years while I get to the point of being healthy.

This isn’t going to happen overnight. I’m resolved to that. I do have a few milestones that I want to hit by certain dates, and I’m going to do my best to get there, but even if I don’t hit those dates, I’m still going to do my best. No one else has ever done that for me, so it’s about time I give myself the best effort that I can. I’m worth it.

Namaste

First, it’s Valentines Day.  I used to hate it because it was more of an excuse for my ex’s idiocy than anything. He’d do all the stuff that you’re supposed to do on Valentines and then expect me to respond by doing something that I inevitably thought was a bad idea.  I’m not bitter about Valentine’s day, just reminding myself how glad I am that I don’t need to deal with that crap anymore.   Roomie and I have grown into a different kind of relationship, and since I’ve known him, I’ve always bought some nice chocolate, because he loves it, and this year I got flowers for the table for both of us to enjoy, and a small cake with strawberry glaze that’s really much too yummy at 300 calories a slice.  He cooked a nice healthy meal for dinner today.   That’s probably the extent of it, although the evening isn’t over yet.

It’s also Chinese New Year, or Tet as Roomie knew it in Viet Nam. He’s much more into that than Valentines day. There are a lot of customs and rituals that I know nothing about. He’s never made a big deal over it before. Mostly just mentioned it on the day and that was it.  This year he started talking about it a couple of weeks ago, so I did a minor amount of research, just so I’d be up on what he was doing.   The one thing that I didn’t do was get my housework done on Saturday. It’s bad luck to clean house once the  New Year luck comes in, so I can live with that, I’ll do what I need to do tomorrow (laundry) and the rest can wait until Tet is over. We both have our lucky red shirts on, and we had ramen noodles with dinner. It’s bad luck to break a noodle while you’re eating it on Tet, so we slurped a lot .   He made a comment that I probably don’t believe in “this stuff” and that’s not necessarily true.  I think that there’s probably more to and Eastern tradition that is thousands of years old and has so much custom and ritual to it than there is to the New Years that we celebrate that’s based on the Roman calendar and gives idiots an excuse to drink and not much else.  I know very little about Eastern traditions compared to Roomie. He’ s making an effort to educate me about this one. Maybe I’ll be a little better prepared next year.

This also marks day 2 with no diet coke.  I think I had cut down enough that it’s not going to be so hard to leave it behind this time.  Anyone that says caffeine isn’t addictive can take these cravings that I’m having and stick them where it’s not sunny   Yesterday wasn’t bad. I keep the advil going most of the day.  Today I was sleepy all morning and a little headachey this afternoon, but I got on the treadmill for 35 min and got some endorphins going and I feel OK now.  The first thing I notice every time I quit the evil stuff is that I’m not nearly as hungry. Caffeine is an appetite stimulant, and the stomache ache from the rotgut Coke only accentuates that. I haven’t had any advil yet today. I’ll take some when I go to bed, but I’m doing OK now. One more day before the real test of going back to work.  I stocked up on breakfast food so there’s absolutely no reason to drive through McDonalds for anything.

I’m enjoying the Olympics too.  I know they’re a bunch of commercial crap and some of the athletes are professional, but there are a lot of stories of hard work and hope, and that’s the stuff that suckers me in.  I’ll never be an Olympian, but they still inspire me.

So, I live in the midwest, and we had an earthquake this morning.  I live very near the epicenter, and I felt it.  Every once in a while, Mother Earth likes to remind us who’s really in charge.  It’s funny. I felt the shake and heard the noise, but earthquake never went through my mind until I heard the “breaking news” on the radio that I tried to go to sleep to afterwards.  It was surreal. I didn’t sleep much after that.  I read in bed for a while, then got up and got myself to work, where the topic of the day was who felt it or not.

In other news, there’s an organization called TED that I somewhat follow. They are very good at putting influential people together to do good things, and inspire greatness.  Today their 2010 prize was awarded to that Naked Chef guy, Jamie Oliver.  I’ve liked him for years. He uses garden fresh ingredients, and the freshest, healthiest meats that he can find, and makes really good stuff.  He’s got this genius idea.  Deal with childhood obesity by teaching the kids how to deal with it, so they can teach their parents.  Check it out at Ted.org.  The conference is going on right now, so the new vids aren’t up yet, but there’s a page about the prize and Jamie talking about it. Think about where the recycling movement started. Teachers in schools challenged their students to recycle. The kids took it on and now the whole country has recycling programs. The same thing can be done with nutrition. His idea, is that if we teach kids what a potato or leeks or any other vegetable looks like, and then teach them how to use them and healthy meats or other protein  in 10 solid, nutritious, recipes, and then they teach 3 friends, and that cascades, then we have kids fighting their own obesity, teaching nutrition to their parents, and taking personal responsibility for their own health.  How cool is that?  It’s a lot more complex, but that’s the idea at the core of it.

My response to that is that I’ve recently changed my own personal rules.  I got obese eating crap, so that went into my own personal decision to change my ways.  I no longer buy lunch at work. I either bring something I’ve made, or eat something like a can of healthy, low sodium, lots of veggies soup or occasionally a frozen dinner kind of thing for my midday meal.  My snacks are yogurt or cheese instead of chips or candy, more often than not I cook myself oatmeal for breakfast. Real, old fashioned oatmeal. Just the difference between fresh cooked old fashioned oats and that processed sugared instant crap oatmeal is astounding.  One half cup of oats, a cup of water, a measured amount of brown sugar, a splash of vanilla, and enough cinnamon to make it tasty, and I’m satisfied for hours.  One of those processed carby instant things, is 1/4 the amount of food, and so loaded with sugar that it’s ridiculous.  Fresh food is so much better, healthier, more satisfying, and there’s a sense of satisfaction eating something that I cooked myself, rather than dropping a few dollars for something fast and awful.  It took me 43 years to finally understand that. If Jamie can get to these kids and give them the tools, our population will be much healthier as these kids take pride in taking care of themselves.  It’s a genius idea.

Namate

Snow is pretty, I like watching it fall. I don’t mind snowblowing, I don’t get cold easily, so being out there for an hour getting good exercise, and clearing the driveway, is enjoyable.  Roomie keeps the steps clear, because he knows how tender my back is, and I appreciate that. If I had to shovel, I’d feel completely differently about snow, but he does his part and I do mine and we make a good team keeping things clear and safe. He made chili for dinner too. I don’t know if it was being out in the cold, but that was especially tasty tonight.

I had a bit of a victory at work today. I’ve been agonizing over how to do something. It involves 2 different inventory systems, and reconciling hundreds of things that have been shipped multiple times. It’s a lot of data and I struggled for days about how to get past being overwhelmed by the task and just thinking my way through it.  This morning, I took one chunk and just brut forced my way through several different attempts.  Two hours before the meeting with the VP’s I stumbled on the best answer, and then did enough analysis to find about $10k worth of missing equipment.  The cool part is that they’re getting me a temp to do the time consuming stuff, while I keep doing what I need to do to keep things going with sales.  The pressure’s off, the problem is under control, and with a little work it will be much better.

Oh and another victory: I saw my oncologist today. After 2 years of check ups every 3 months, I’m clean, and statistically the recurrence rate drops to less than 2% at the 2 year mark, so I now only have to go face the stirrups every 6 months.  That’s 50% less stirrups in my life.  WOOOHOOO!  Take that cancer!  3 more years and I WIN. I’ll be declared cancer free, and I can go back to being a regular girl and just getting checked once a year.

I spent the rest of the morning reading/napping/movie watching/grooming kitties. Low energy stuff because I didn’t sleep much last night.  I felt OK by about 3, so I got up, and for no reason other than I WANTED TO, walked for 45 minutes on my treadmill.  Who is this person and what did she do with the real Grania? I even messed with the incline and speed settings, instead of just a straight walk, BECAUSE I DIDN’T FEEL LIKE I WAS WORKING HARD ENOUGH!

I now know how long it takes to get 5000 steps on my bodybugg, which I did for the first time today all at once, instead of in brief walks during the day.  Also for the first time since I’ve started living well again, I have passed the 30 minute goal for exercise in one shot. My previous high was 25 minutes one day last week.  I feel good tonight, but my right hip is glad that I don’t do that kind of walking every day.  Little does it know what it’s got coming

Tomorrow’s plans are pretty standard. I’ve got a bag of wild rice that needs using and Roomie doesn’t particularly care for it, so I’ll make a casserole and pack lunches for the week.  Laundry, housework, and I’ve got to get my office straightened up before it drives me completely nutty. I’ve got a presentation to put together for work, and I’m launching another website, so that needs some work.  Maybe I’ll get to all of that, maybe not.  I’ll probably sneak in some more walking. I like the short workouts that I’ve been doing in the morning, but they don’t get the endorphins going like walking for 45 min does. It will help with the depression, and it burns a couple hundred calories, so I win both ways.

Tonight I’m going to relax, and read for a while.  Did I mention how much I’ve missed reading really good stories?  Mists of Avalon is getting better and better and I’m only 100 pages into it.

Namaste

That’s it for now. TGIF tomorrow. My boss is cooking breakfast for everyone. Hopefully we’ll get out a little early too. Superbowl weekend is a big deal at the office.  I couldn’t care less about football, but the celebrations are fun.

Namaste

I’ve been working hard at losing weight, and also working at trying not to get discouraged at the lack of speed that I’m used to for the weight coming off.  I have a bodybugg that’s giving me the pieces of the story that I never had before. My metabolism has slowed tremendously from what I think it was even a few years ago. I’m working with that. I’m re-learning how to eat better again, dealing with the inevitable hunger and trying to keep a good attitude about it. I’m beginning with the exercise now, two weeks into eating better, working more opportunity even to just walk around the building that I work in.  I’m doing this by choice, I keep reminding myself of that. I feel so much better, I am losing weight, 11 pounds so far, and if I’ve learned nothing in the past few years except how to be patient, I’ve gotten very good at that. I will stick with it, making decisions every day about what I put into my mouth, and being more active.  I wouldn’t call what I’m doing a diet. It’s more of a conscious eating plan. I can have anything I want, but everything comes with a price, and right now I’m not spending much on the high calorie, unhealthy food that I’ve gotten way to used to.

As an example, I was invited out to dinner with a higher up at my company yesterday. It was an honor to be invited but the worst possible restaurant for anyone that’s trying to be healthy was the destination.  I went to Cheesecake Factory, ate balsamic chicken and a pile of veggies, and 4 bites of cheesecake. It helped that there were 5 of us that shared those 2 pieces. More than half was left on the table too. It was enough to taste the cheesecake. That’s a foreign concept to me. I’m kind of proud of myself for minimizing the damage that could have been caused at that place.

I’m also working at giving up caffeine again.  Old bad habits die hard.

Between that and dealing with cats and vets, work, home, and reviving an old website, I haven’t had much energy to spend here.

I’ll be back soon. Please be patient.